Fenchurch Clothing

Keen to break in to the lucrative military industrial complex, Fenchurch clothing has recently been testing a new Kevlar range of shorts and hoodies. The new dual fabric combines the comfort and ease of movement of traditional skater gear with the ballistic projectile resistance of military grade body armour. The idea is that in the near future, troops on covert operations will be able to flit amongst the general population undetected, disguised as skaters.

Fenchurch clothing was first approached about the project by Claus Rubenstien, the mind behind the quite brilliant banana gun now in widespread use with undercover police units in the Solomon Islands and Jamaica . His idea was to take traditionally lightweight clothing that people would associate with an irritating but ultimately harmless social group – in this case skaters – and adapt it for combat.

Some have hit out at this change of direction from Fenchurch clothing, who had previously gained plaudits for the ethical direction they had taken in their organic and fair trade clothing lines. Many of those attracted to the brand by these moral considerations are now expected to abandon it just as quickly through their work with the defence industry.

Speaking outside their factory in Bolton, Fenchurch clothing spokesperson Dave Smith said that a new government contract for Kevlar skate shorts would safeguard over 400 jobs in the local area, and reaffirmed that Fenchurch clothing was still just as committed to providing quality casual wear for the ethical shopper.

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